


Stargazer

by stardustcatharsis



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Tension, Cheating, Depression, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Fluff and Smut, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Jealousy, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Oral Sex, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Slow Romance, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-01
Updated: 2018-05-01
Packaged: 2019-04-30 14:40:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14499210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stardustcatharsis/pseuds/stardustcatharsis
Summary: A stargazer at heart, Rey found herself being guided by them and ended up befriending a quirky older woman who shows her how to accept the things she can't change and introduces her to a rather wild life. It's filled with ups and downs, but somehow it leads her in the right direction.Leia can't save her from herself, but she does her best to save her from falling in love with her son, Ben.Random exert because I write crap summaries :D"Don't get me started on what you did Thanksgiving. It's my birthday and I wanted everyone here. I've got your father in the kitchen wearing a party hat and so is Chewie. So, get your ass down here and put one on, too." Leia berated. Her voice echoed through the hallway.Her own party hat was glittering in the light and she looked up to Rey as she slowly came down the stairs. "I see you've met Ben."Rey smiled awkwardly as she slid by him, keeping her distance. "I did." Part of her hoped that Leia hadn't meant Han's urn was dressed up for the occasion. It probably was.





	1. Urania and Apollo

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that this is enjoyable enough. I'm really awful at writing summaries for my work, or anything, actually! Oops.  
> But this is a pretty feels heavy story about life lessons and all that stuff (and eventual smut, because duh).  
> Anddddd I wrote this because I was missing Carrie Fisher's mom wisdom and I felt like writing some. ♡

 

The Moon spilled its weight over the night. It hung heavily, low and fixed, over the sprawling city beneath it. The stars seemed to dim, less enthralled by the perfume of neon light that overwhelmed them. 

 

The dusty smog smeared its hands over the towering buildings almost intentionally. It made the girl watching from the dash of her car glower. She squinted her eyes at the green light that poured over her face. 

 

There was a time, she remembered, where she could almost reach those flickering orbs from their blackened drapery. Maybe it was when she was young and her imagination hadn't dwindled like the rest of her. 

 

She sighed as her old car sputtered down the street. Some sad song was playing on the radio, which flickered in and out of range. The urge to run struck her. This car and the melancholy of the man's voice spoke to her emotions as she passed her exit.

 

The road seemed more inviting than spending another night at home alone. The sense of belonging lost her as she pulled up to a red light. She fondled her name tag idly and felt the divit of her name. Her fingers read her identity and Rey didn't seem to fixate on it.

 

She worked long hours four days a week in a factory. She had a cat and no living family, no friends; not since she moved to this metropolis. 

 

The only friend she did have was a boy that was off somewhere with his new wife and child. There was nothing truly keeping her here, save for the safety of her routine. 

 

Nothing ever happened there. It was quaint, suburban and filled with nothing special. It felt appropriate. 

 

The girl smiled weakly to herself. "Just like you." She muttered before turning down a familiar street.

 

It was in the richer part of town, with wide windowed houses and sprawling columns that somehow seemed small behind the well manicured shrubbery. 

 

It was dark enough to see the stars on that side of town. The lamp posts ended in the cul-de-sac and she often would sit in her car and daydream about the vastness of the universe and how insignificant she felt within it.

 

Tonight was no different. 

 

The girl parked her car in front of the same house, as the older woman that owned it seemed not to mind. It was more demure than the other facades, and looked like a hill compared to the mountains around. 

 

She rubbed her tired eyes with the cuffs of her sleeves. Leia, the owner, was always out with her dog on the porch. The woman was quirky, maybe brazen but Rey liked her. They'd only spoken a handful of times, but it felt like their mutual understanding was working out.

 

Rey lowered her seat and unbuckled, laying back as she turned off the car. For a moment, her dark eyes peered towards the brick house and admired the kudzu winding around the small pillars and the way the woman looked in the pale yellow porch light. 

 

Her gray hair was as glistening as the starlight and the wrinkles on her face were full of stories. Her dog was a little thing. A sigh escaped her as she looked towards the sky.

 

She picked out constellations and wished that she could be a part of them. What made a person  _special_? Was there a certain protocol to make you into something worthy?

 

People weren't worthy enough to be like the animals that crawled across the night with the moon guarding them. That yearning made her eyes water. 

 

She could lose herself in the balmy night and drown in the sea of starlight, but she couldn't stay. Her apartment was downtown in a run down building with no view. 

 

For a moment longer, Rey was belligerent. Her tears overcame her as she cried alone. The sound of her own voice cracking as it became a sob was disarming. 

 

Her head fell into her hands as she sought any happiness left inside of her. She hadn't a clue as to how long she sat there. She was tired, beyond what she normally was.

 

It felt like the air in her lungs had depleted. A sharp urgency shot through her as she wiped her face clean. There had to be a way out of this place. 

 

This station in life was not what she wanted. She worked to make ends meet and maybe one day she could have a life like this. One where she could see beyond the florescent veins of the city and live in her own world seemed like an intangible dream. 

 

Rey sucked in a few breaths before there was a small tapping on her passenger side window. She shot up, sniveling as she shook off the listlessness of her mood. 

 

She struggled over the console to unroll the window. Clearing her throat, she looked up at Leia's warm toned face. "I-I'm sorry. If you need me to move---" 

 

"You look like you could use something to eat." Was all the woman said. Her voice was raspy and stern. 

 

Rey swallowed, cleaning up her flushed face as she waved a hand. "I couldn't impose." She said, knowing it had been an entire day since she had eaten. "I just appreciate you letting me sit here without calling the police on me like the neighbors."

 

Leia rolled her dark eyes and laughed, "Well, I'm not an asshole. I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want you to come in." 

 

"Are you sure? I don't want to be a problem. I can go home." Rey asked, eyes full of curiosity and concern. 

 

"Look," Leia said, tapping her cane against the parted window. "I've been sitting here listening to you crying for half an hour, because you're loud, and I would like to feed you. A little snack always makes you feel good."

 

Rey looked down and blew out a breath. It was embarrassing enough that she was having an episode in this woman's drive way, let alone the fact she was obnoxiously loud when she cried. 

 

Leia grew impatient and began to walk back towards her house. "Lock it up and come on. Offer is good for another five minutes." She garbled. 

 

Rey wasn't disrespectful and rolled up the window. She grabbed her beaten up bag and followed close behind the woman. Her stomach was filled with confusion, hunger, and anxiety. 

 

Her hands rung together as she took in the smooth, white arch that hung over the porch. She was a good bit taller than the small woman and she hesitantly followed her into door. 

 

Rey had never been inside somewhere like this. There was nothing this nice where she was from. She worried she would break one of the expensive crystal vases sitting on an oak table next to the doorway. 

 

It smelled like cinnamon and made her melt as she hit the hardwood floor as though it were foreign. She held her breath unable to relax. Chewie, the tiny guard dog hunkered down on his own plush bed filled with a collection of toys as she headed towards the kitchen.

 

Leia flipped on the light to reveal a massive marble island with brass pots and pants hanging above it and polished appliances. Rey stood still as she took it all in. 

 

Leia swatted a hand, "Put the bag down. You can't hurt anything in here. Hell, if you want to break something so you won't be afraid to sit down you can break some of the china. No one really likes it anyway."

 

Rey chewed at her lip as she sat on one of the bar stools. She clung to her purse before finally sitting it down on the island. "Thank you for letting me come in. This is the nicest house I've ever been in."

 

"Me too!" The woman chided as she opened the fridge. She skimmed over some questionable leftovers before plucking out a  _fresh Tupperware._ "I hope you like whatever the hell this is. The problem with getting old is never remembering what you made the day before." 

 

For the first time in months, Rey cracked a real smile and felt her body relax. "I think that's a universal thing, honestly. I'm just very grateful for a meal."

 

Leia shot her a look as she hobbled to the microwave. "You're thin. You look like you don't eat much."

 

"Oh no, given the opportunity I eat like a starving pig." Rey said as she gave a laugh.

 

"So, we've been seeing each other for months and I don't know much about you." Leia said, plunking down with two forks and the container of food.

 

"There's not much to tell." Rey said, taking a bite of the hot food, almost melting at the way the meat tasted. It was a luxury to have a home cooked meal, even if it was a few days old.

 

"Surely, that can't be true." Leia said. "I see you work at the factory. There's a start."

 

Rey picked at the food inspite of her grumbling stomach. "I've worked there for three whole years. It's okay. I don't make near enough for the work I do."

 

The older woman made a knowing expression. "That's what it's like being a woman. It doesn't change. But, aside from stargazing and factory work, you've got to like something."

 

Rey thought for a moment, "I suppose I like reading and my cat, even though she hates me. I don't have any family, so it's really just Falcon and me."

 

Leia frowned a bit, "I don't have much, either. I got this house when my husband died. It was unfortunate, really. And before you say you're sorry, it was in a car accident with my son a few years ago."

 

She furrowed her brows, sitting her fork down. "My son..."  A sigh escaped her. "My son blames himself for a lot of things. I wish that he would come home, but he comes and goes. He doesn't like admitting he's like his father in that respect. Always into something, or too hot headed for his own good."

 

Rey felt tears pricking the back of her eyes, but designed to holding them in. She reached a nervous hand across the table to grip Leia's lightly in a kindred gesture as her own memories came to light.

 

"That's how I lost my father. My mother was an addict and she overdosed when I was young. Very young, actually." Rey said softly, "I used to blame myself but I realized that I was not responsible and had to take care of myself. I've always been drawn to stargazing because it is something for me and it gives me some sort of hope that there's something better, truthfully.  I'm very appreciative that you let me sit here because I do that."

 

Leia squeezed the girl's hand and nodded thoughtfully. "See? It isn't hard to share, isnt it?" 

 

Rey shrugged, "I've only ever had one friend and he's married with his own family now. So I don't see him very often. I don't think his wife is too keen on me, but he's family I suppose."

 

"Most of the time family is overrated. You have to make your own with people you actually like." She chided in response. 

 

Rey tucked back a loose strand of coppery hair as she looked down at the smooth marble table. "I like that idea. You've been very generous letting me into your home and feeding me dinner."

 

Leia waved it off as she always did. "If you want wine, help yourself. It's frowned upon if I drink it all." 

 

Rey waved her hands. "Oh no, I have to drive home. Thank--"

 

"Do you want to stay here? If I was going to murder you I would have already done so. And, I have a new washer and dryer so you can wash your uniform." 

 

"You drive an incredibly hard bargain. This entire day has been strange. I'm actually glad I didn't go home tonight." Rey scrunched her nose. 

 

"Well, help yourself to some wine. You can sleep in Ben's room. He's got the nice television. His room also doesn't have all of my craft supplies in it." Leia grinned. 

 

"Thank you. I normally don't do this sort of thing and I'm very nervous. I don't know the right way to spend the night somewhere." Rey cleared her throat as she inspected the way

 

Leia's silvery hair hung in loose tendrils about her face. She was a lovely woman, and her personality sucked her in.

 

She supposed this was the feeling of acceptance she has wanted. This evening had somehow been quelled, and over thinking it wouldn't help it all. 

 

They talked a little more about this and that before Leia showed her around the house--- glass of red wine in tow.

 

There were odd sculptures and paintings scattered about the walls. Rey had to say her personal favorite room was the living room. It had the most personality and matched Leia very well. 

 

It was where Han's ashes were and where all of their photos hung. He was a handsome in his youth. He looked like trouble, and that's what Leia liked about him.

 

Leia blew a kiss to the polished silver earn and muttered, what Rey believed to be a nightly ritual of "Goodnight, you good looking jerk." 

 

It amused her. She had almost forgotten about how lonely she was as Leia showed her pictures of Ben. They were on the coffee table and Rey stopped to admire them. 

 

Ben was young in all of the photos. Leia had said her son hated having photos taken and she would sneak them with her old disposables. His cheeks at the time were plump, rosy and his hair was like spilled ink.

 

Rey grinned. He was very much a combination of both of his parents. She wondered how old be was now and if he was half as interesting as his mother. 

 

After some time had passed, Rey was lead up a small staircase to a platform. The hall split in half with rooms literally the hallways themselves. Ben's room was to the very end, somehow ominous as it was darkly lit before the light flickered on. 

 

Leia handed her the remove sitting on a small, black nightstand as she scurried about the room. "You'll need this." She murmured while un-making the expensive looking bed. 

 

Rey scanned the room. It was simple. Nothing fancy decorated the walls, just black furniture and gray curtains and a few odds and ends. He collected some odd looking taxidermy pieces. Her eyes were drawn to a small fox sitting on the vanity. 

 

She slowly crept towards it and placed a finger on its fur. It's eyes were glassy, made of some sort of realistic materials and she stared into them. There were small flecks of amber and deep browns that some how saw through her.

 

It twisted a small part of her. The Vulpecula was her favorite constellation. It was humble, not as bright as the others and hung in the back of her mind. 

 

Leia watched her as Rey looked through am astrology book sitting beside it. Her hear swelled that it was there. "May I read this?" She asked the woman as she sat on the edge of the bed, nearly sinking into its softness.

 

"Don't be afraid. He's not as weird as he seems. Now, don't get me wrong, he is  _weird_ \--- gets it honest --- but he wouldn't mind." Leia shrugged, staring at her reflection in the muted television screen.

 

Rey smiled, sitting her wine glass upon the dresser as she hunkered down on the opposite side of the bed with the book in tow.

 

There were book marks spread out in an array of colors, and she opened it to Lupus. Her fingers skimmed over the pages of the diagrams and positions as if they held some sort of magic. 

 

Leia was quiet. "So, if you don't mind me asking, why were you crying in my driveway." The woman perked her brows as she looked towards the stark white bathroom door. 

 

Rey straightened her posture and closed the book on her thumb. Her brows furrowed as she looked down at her lap dejectedly. "I suppose it's because I'm lonely." It seemed ridiculous now that her night and somehow ended up in this stranger's home. But was she really? She was at least familiar. 

 

Leia pursed her lips and felt her heart tug for the girl. She didn't look well taken care of and the bags under her eyes were noticeable when they sat in the kitchen. They stretched to the patch of freckles that peppered the bridge of her nose. 

 

For a moment, the woman was silent. She mulled over her thoughts before stamping her cane against the floor a few times. "I would say that your stargazing lead you here for a reason, wouldn't you say? You are more than welcome any time. I like the company and Chewie didn't bite your ankles, so I would say you're an okay person."

 

Rey sucked in a breath. Her chest felt full and couldn't quite place whether or not it was the wine or her own emotions that made her feel so. It wasn't something she was used to --- especially with the powerlessness she felt at work. 

 

Leia sighed, herself, and pushed herself to her feet. "Next time you come by just come inside. Stay the night, bring whatever you like. You can help me with my scratch offs and help me plant my garden if you like nature. If you don't I'll hire someone who likes it, and we'll watch."

 

Rey smiled a little and thanked the woman. She waited until she was gone to relax and let out the breath she felt like she had been holding all night.

 

She sat for a moment before exploring the room, being drawn back to the fox. Everything else seemed to be boring. There were insects set in stones and glass that rested on his window sill. 

 

There wasn't much in the way of personal effects, save for those small oddities and an affinity for dark and neutral tones. She peeped into his closet that was larger than her miniscule bathroom and struggled internally as she plucked out a well worn t-shirt to sleep in.

 

Everything felt strange. 

 

Everything  _smelled_ just as strange. It was the smell of cleanliness and newness. It was associated with wealth. The ripeness of musky scents and cinnamon from the bouquets of potpourri in the hall. 

 

She removed her shoes and clothes to neatly fold her uniform and place it on the desk he had neatly placed against the far wall. It wasn't much for a consolation when she laid down in the silky sheets that she had never felt anything that smooth.

 

She almost melted. Her mind tried to fight the sleep that crept behind her eyes. The way the pillow smelled made her warm as she nuzzled into it. 

 

The feeling surrounding her seemed fleeting as she drifted away. There was no place for her in a world like this, though it felt more natural than she imagined it would have been to be in Leia's house.

 

Rey didn't know that this was the first night of many that would follow. She didn't come everyday, that would be rude of her. Yet, she came once or twice a week when the need to stargaze besieged her. 

 

She helped the older woman clean and scour the house, learned needle point and how to plant flowers. The latter  _was_ poorly done on both sides, but Leia chimed, "May be a piece of shit, but things grow in it."

 

Each trip became longer and more expected. She never missed the Sunday dinner Leia cooked. Rey met a few of her friends, and they were just as eccentric as she was; each in their own unique way. 

 

She became more and more comfortable with each visit and each inappropriate joke between them. Holdo was Rey's favorite. She was a listless wandering soul with fashionably dyed hair and loose bohemian dresses.

 

She wondered how much wine she drank to be so loose in her fitted skin, but she was as much of a firecracker as Leia.

 

Rey wasn't privy to playing card games with the women, truthfully. They were horribly competitive. Ms. Holdo was talkative, and picked and prodded the girl on all of their shared visits. 

 

It was a nice feeling. Acceptance was all Rey had ever wanted, and it seemed the stars really did guide her to a destination she didn't believe existed. 

 

And despite how much she had heard about Ben, and how he was terrible at returning calls, she had yet to meet him or Leia's brother.

 

Apparently she had one, but he was a very reclusive man. "Very proper and demure," she cited, "Not nearly as wild as he used to be."

 

Rey understood that, too. She was only in her early twenties but her wildness died with her parents. She longed for the fiery burst of life in her that Leia had. Instead, she still worked knuckle to bone at the factory.

 

Her dirtied face would transmit the exhaustion in greasy black smears of oil across her cheeks, and spread redness to her hairline. Her hands were callused and ached when the rain came.

 

But, these little excursions were only hers to have. It filled a hole that desperately needed to be sewn together. Leia was the needle, but the thread was still missing somewhere and if pulled at Rey as she readied herself.

 

This particular weekly visit was a special one. It was Leia's birthday and she refused to admit her age, simply by pressing that all anyone needed to know was that she was young enough to be a pain in the ass.

 

Rey brushed her freshly dried hair as she thought, and slid into a new dress. It wasn't one from a fancy department store, but it was nice enough to be presentable. She inspected her dark navy dress dotted with white dots that fell under a white Peter Pan collar. 

 

Begrudgingly she wore a tiny belt and a cardigan way too big for her body. She didn't know how to dress herself as a lady  _should._ So, in turn, she did her best after scouring the internet for anything that  _seemed_ right. 

 

She even put on makeup that had probably passed expiration as not to waste a cent that she'd spent on it. Soon enough, she packed her same run down purse and a sack of fresh clothes and a present she made for Leia.

 

When she arrived, she took a moment to stare up at the stars in wonder. Her favorite constellations were still hidden, but she pinpointed the Little Dipper, tracing the windshield with her finger for luck.

 

Once courage stole her, Rey hobbled inside on a pair of red heels she frankly did not know how to wear. And slung her bags awkwardly over her arms. Her shoddy curling job made her hair flounce out of place with each step.

 

She stood in the door way, listening to laughter and stared up at the yellow porch light as it beamed down. She pushed out a breath and knocked. She always did.

 

Rey expected Leia, but was greeted by an unfamiliar voice. It was thick, and hoarse --- just as gravelly as hers. "Well,  _you_ must be someone special. Come in, little one. She's already popped the champagne so you better get in here." 

 

The girl smiled crookedly, feeling a hand grip her shoulder. He smelled nice, like whiskey and pine. By the looks of him, and the same peppery hair and wit, that must have been  _Luke._

He immediately went back into the kitchen, joking with the rest of them. There was a sea of people, but plenty of room to be had by each of them. 

 

This was a new experience. Rey slid passed them, seeing Leia wave a hand at her as she sat the present on the counter. It was poorly wrapped compared to the others, but she was still proud of it. 

 

Rey received a kiss on the cheek, a hug, a handshake from people she hadn't met before. It was overwhelming and her arm still rattled with her belongings. She excused herself, zipping through a maze of streamers and oversized balloons. 

 

It was almost a relief as she hit the landing at the top of the stairs. Without thought she headed to Ben's room. As soon as she put her hand on the door, it pulled open.

 

Rey froze, staring up at a pair of dark, expressive eyes. Her skin was probably as red as her shoes. 

 

"You must be the girl I've heard so much about." Ben rumbled, barely smirking as looked her over. 

 

For a moment she tried to take in his face. It was awkward, but very handsome. She wondered exactly what she had gotten into and felt her heart leap into her throat.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Vulpecula and Anser

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, who's the girl?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure why it keeps saying completed work, but it isn't. I've tried fixing it so hopefully it'll be right now.  
> I write my stories in my Evernote on my breaks at work for mental health reasons, and it's nice.   
> I also wrote this story while predominantly listening to the music of Lord Huron, in case anyone likes chill sad songs about space and love and stuff.

Rey swallowed, shifting uncomfortably in her heels. She was an inch taller and still several shorter compared to him. His narrow face was pale, dotted with dark flecks --- not as abundant as her own freckles. 

 

"I am very, very sorry. I will take my things downstairs." Rey forced, trying to remain calm. Her anxiety got the better of her as clenched her fists. "I didn't realize you were home."

 

Ben smirked crookedly, bemused by how oblivious she was. "I take it you've been stay here?" His long limbs were broad and his wingspan seemed endless as he gestured towards his room. 

 

Rey nodded, "Leia said you wouldn't mind." She tried to feign confidence, but something about him made her question it. She didn't want to be under scrunity, and her hands picked at the hem of her dress.

 

Ben rolled his eyes, "I suppose not. It's not like I'm here. I came for her birthday, but I'm going to stay a while." 

 

She couldn't read the expression resting on his narrow jaw and finally found it in herself to take off her shoes. He watched her before pushing the door open so that she could enter.

 

"You can still sleep in here. Watching you struggle is painful." He grimaced as he walked past her. She shot him a confused look as she sat her things down on the bed. 

 

She watched him walk down the steps and pause when heard a voice he didn't seem to care for. He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and looked back at her. "Please tell me that Uncle Luke isn't here."

 

Leia hobbled out and peeked her head out of the kitchen. Her face was void of any discernable expression, " He is, and if you weren't so busy sulking in your room you may have had time to run off again. Consider this your punishment for being an asshole."

 

Ben ran a hand through his dark hair and grunted. He hadn't been home in months and it seemed that his mother was still every bit as feisty as when he left.

 

"Don't get me started on what you did Thanksgiving. It's my birthday and I wanted everyone here. I've got your father in the kitchen wearing a party hat and so is Chewie. So, get your ass down here and put one on, too." Leia berated, echoing through the hallway. 

 

Her own party hat was glittering in the light and she looked up to Rey as she slowly came down the stairs. "I see you've met Ben." 

 

Rey smiled awkwardly as she slid by him, keeping her distance. "I  _did."_ Part of her hoped that Leia hadn't meant Han's urn was dressed up for the occasion. It probably was. 

Ben bit his tongue. He wanted to snap and say something passive aggressive but kept it to himself. Leia must have sensed it, because her dark eyes pinned on him. 

 

"I don't care how old you are, you're still my son, and I didn't want you to come home to sit up in the belfry while the other bats ate fruit." She said, waving a hand absently.

 

His mother's euphemisms weren't the standard textbook variety and Rey couldn't help but laugh as she put her tennis shoes on.  

The woman gestured towards the girl, "You look nice. Good choice of shoes, I could never walk in heels. But, go get you something to eat and socialize a bit. Holdo brought her son, Poe. He's cute." 

 

Rey laughed earnestly. It brightened her features and her smile melted Leia. Ben noted it, as well as he watched her walk back into the kitchen. He huffed at his mother's persuasion and braced himself for visiting with the family. Aside from Thanksgiving, this was the one night of the year where their dysfunctions truly shined.

 

When he reached the bottom of the stairs, Leia hugged him. "Even though I'm upset with you, I'm glad you're home. And don't mess with the girl. She's been through enough." 

 

Her hand patted the man on the back and she sighed. 

 

"Where did she even come from?" Ben asked, unsure of how or why the girl was even their to begin with. She had been sleeping in his bed, wearing his clothes, and he knew nothing about her other than what Leia left in voicemails. 

He admitted to himself that he only checked them two days ago. 

 

Leia bristled. She gave him  _the look_. 

 

"It doesn't really matter. She's here now and I like her. She's a good girl. She's good company and Chewie likes her. He doesn't like anyone." Her raspy voice was soft, smoother than it had been. Her son noticed and nodded as his eyes caught glimpses of her slender frame. 

 

"Everyone seems to like her well enough." He bit, feeling less than thrilled at how they didn't seem to accept him as openly. Whenever he walked into a room it felt like the oppressive weight of their scrunity rained down. 

 

He would never live up to the expectations set for him, and perhaps he could get passed it eventually. For now, though, Ben sucked up his pride and found himself in the middle of the lion's den.

 

Poe seemed excited to see him and hugged him briefly, flashing a smooth smile before drifting off to talk to his own mother. Luke sat at the bar with Rey, laughing about some bullshit story he'd heard about a thousand times.

 

They didn't acknowledge each other, and he supposed it was for the best. All of the other bodies stuffing the house were familiar enough, but there was one that made Ben  _feel_ important.

 

He drank his whiskey slowly, savoring it as he sat in a chair next to Han. The urn, was in fact, wearing a party hat. Ben actually was fond of his mother for her precariousness. Some people found it disrespectful, but the idea that someone is loved so dearly that they're included after passing was almost heartbreaking.

 

She always included Han. Ever holiday, every birthday, every time she danced to records in the middle of the night --- Han was there. 

 

And as Ben sat on the edge of the oak entertainment center, he looked at the aging face of his  _Uncle_ and grinned. "Mom sure knows how to keep his spirits up, doesn't she?"

 

"Ben, my boy!" Lando chuckled. "My my, look at you. You look a bit more like Han every time I see you. You need a little sun and a new set of clothes and you'd be him." 

 

 He was still in sharp dress, with a pair of freshly pressed slacks and polished leather shoes. His dark skin was wrinkled, and his hair was peppery. But he was just the way Ben always remembered him to be. He aspired to be as daft, and suave. 

 

Ben looked at the urn, "Dad seems to have the same idea we do." He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest. 

 

Lando nudged the party hat. "You're mother was crazy about that man. Girls are going to be the same way about you, you know?"

 

Ben scoffed. "I hardly think that that's what I should be concerned with right now." His eyes averted towards Rey. She was standing near the doorway in that little dress, trying so desperately to blend in with these people.

 

"Ah, she's something else isn't, she?" The man interjected, grinning. "I met her a few weeks ago at one of your mom's shindigs. She works at the factory downtown."

 

"Mom wouldn't tell me how they met." He cleared his throat, reaching for a glass of whiskey that Lando poured for him. 

 

"Well," he sighed, "Your mom said she would drive out here and sit for hours and look at the stars. She said they talked a bit here and there, and one day she invited the little thing in here and your momma got her."

 

"She does that." Ben laughed half-heartedly. The whiskey burned, warming his throat as it hit his stomach. "I just wondered. I'm going to help myself to a cigarette and fresh air." 

 

Lando raised his glass and Ben did the same. It was too stuffy, even for a house that size. It was something he still wasn't entirely used to. And living in their old house seemed much more befitting. 

 

Despite him, he kept all of his father's things and stole them during Thanksgiving to take them home. Leia hadn't forgiven him, but in due time she would. This house was every moment after the wreck, which Luke still blamed him for --- unlike what everyone else believed. 

 

Swallowing, Ben withheld his own panic as it built from the inside out. He could feel his heart jump in his throat and the sounds seemed to all blend together. 

 

He went the long way around the kitchen and ended up at the door. As soon as his hand grasped the handle, the cool metal alerted his senses and he relaxed. The air that hit his face was cooler than it had been. It was still balmy enough to be uncomfortable, but he hunkered down wide-legged on the steps as he lit his cigarette. 

 

He idly looked up and stared vacantly at the evening sky. Clouds rolled over and it looked like rain, but the moon peered out behind its blanket to expose a cluster of stars. 

 

It took him a moment to realize Rey was sitting on the cemented porch. She had her knees curled to her chest, and her back to the pillar. She she was looking off at the same sky he was. 

 

He cupped his face as his elbow perched on his knee, watching her watch the ebb and flow above them. She sipped on a plastic cup, probably loaded with wine. And sighed every time a sad thought dragged down her cheeks. 

 

Ben wondered for a moment if she felt him watching her, and soon enough she did.Rey looked at him blankly. It was almost as if she had been completely drained. 

 

"Do you mind?" She quipped, rolling her eyes as though she was over the entire evening. She adjusted the party hat on her head and sighed. "Sorry, I came out here to be alone for a moment."

 

Ben shrugged. "There's plenty of distance for you to be alone. Besides, this won't be over until morning and I'm assuming that you're staying." 

 

"Yes. And I am aware. These are lovely people, it's just a bit much for me. I live alone and I have to ease myself into parties." Rey said, chewing at her lip.

 

"I do, too." He rumbled. His voice seemed more calm than it had earlier in the evening. Rey pushed herself to her feet, and Ben's eyes followed her. 

 

"You don't seem like the type." She said, stretching her legs as she leaned against the pillar. 

 

"I think that's a bit presumptuous for a girl that just magically showed up and somehow knows my entire family." Ben retorted, probably a bit more aggressive than he wanted. He stood tall and flicked his cigarette across the yard. His mother and the neighbors loved that. 

 

Rey clenched her jaw. "You don't know anything about me."

 

"Likewise, which is why I'm trying to figure out what all the fuss is about. I come home and all I've heard about is  _you._ " He said, inspecting the diminutiveness of her frame. Her eyes were dark, but full of life unlike the sleeplessness that weighed them down.

 

Rey shook her head and looked past him. She didn't want to focus on anything that might make this any more awkward than it was. She took a sip of wine. "I am just living what life I have and I didn't expect any of this, but it's nice to have something when I have nothing." 

 

She looked away and headed back inside leaving Ben to his own devices. The night was full of casualties. Poe was the first to fall asleep. He didn't hold his liquor well, and slumped over with Jyn--- a girl from the shop he worked at. They both had respectively chosen an arm of the couch and curled up individually. 

 

Lando spent the rest of the evening with Leia and Luke playing cards. He liked gambling and there were watches and twenties sprawling on the table. Han held onto the lucky dice Leia sat in front of him as she worked through her poorly devised tactics.

 

Holdo washed dishes and hummed and it left Ben and Rey sitting in silence as they both hunkered down on the stairs. She had excused herself to bed,  but forgot that the owner of her room was there. 

 

Ben had also reached a stalemate and resigned to the craft room. Though, the inevitable delay of going into the room strangled him. Part of him thought it was because of the girl. She was a pretty, fragile looking thing. He knew otherwise, but there was something strange about her that seemed interesting enough.

 

Rey had chosen to ignore the tension and shuck off her shoes for a second time. All she wanted was to change out of the dress and be alone. Instead, she found herself here with him. 

 

Her eyes lingered on him a moment longer than they should have, and he grinned sheepishly.

 

 "So, you're a stargazer, huh?" Ben asked quietly, still feeling heavy from the remnants of the alcohol he consumed.

 

Rey immediately looked down at her feet, swallowing in embarassment. "Yes," she said chugging down the last swig of wine. She couldn't remember how many glasses she had had, but she definitely needed water. 

 

"What's your favorite constellation?" Ben reclined on the stairs. He reached in his pocket for a cigarette and lit it. Leia would be furious, but she had enough potpourri to kill a person. 

 

Rey fidgeted with her hands. Since when was she ever this meek around a man?

 

 "Vulpecula. Foxes are my favorite animal, so I was predisposed. It's harder to see and isn't as bright as the others but it's still important. It's made of two clusters. Anser,  the goose, actually separated and then later merged back into Vulpecula." The girl beamed. Her smile overcame her and her hands weren't fearful as they sloped in the air.

 

Ben watched her intently through his lashes, smirking against the cigarette.

 

"Mine's Lupus." He said, finding astoundment on the girl's face. "I noticed you took my astronomy book. I had it book marked for a reason. But, I  think there's something greater than an insignificant existence and you have to find the bits and pieces that make up the galaxy before it can be whole. And I like wolves." He shrugged casually. 

 

Everything inside of the girl screamed. Rey let out a sigh, finding her nerves to be far more rattled than they should have been. She just met him and couldn't figure out exactly what sort of person he was. There was something more. And, it wasn't going to be easily dredged up for that matter. 

 

"I think it's strange that I said the exact same thing to your mother some time ago." She said, turning to face him. A feathering of color bit at her cheeks. "Would I be imposing to ask if you were a taxidermist?"

 

"No, I am." Ben responded. "Among other things." 

 

"That's interesting enough. I couldn't bring myself to do it." She sighed, feeling his hand graze her on its way to her empty cup. 

 

He ashed in it. "I think you should be going to bed, huh?" 

 

Rey nodded, and pushed herself to her feet and carried her sore legs up the rest of the stairs to his room. It felt different now. Knowing that he was present made the whole thing seem odd. She got along with him well enough, and it seemed to be befitting that he didn't bring much with him.

 

Rey was nosy enough to probe the room, running her fingers along a small suitcase wondering what was inside of it. 

 

It seemed well put together and simple at the same time, and she wondered how it was so easy for some people. She changed into a matching set of pajamas Leia had bought for her and she wheeled the suitcase to the door. 

 

She hesitated. For a fleeting moment she wanted to ask if he would come and stay with her. It was the wine, surely. Leia probably wouldn't have appreciated it much. 

 

Rey felt sour at the notion and sighed. She maybe had one or two sexual encounters that had ended badly, and neither of them meant much to her. She felt remorse at thought. 

 

She has just met him, and he probably wasn't even attracted to her to begin with. She wasn't necessarily on the same playing field, but she wasn't an absolute waste of a human being, either. 

 

Self deprecation hit harder than her own wants, and she stuffed them back down. It would have been nice to not be lonely for a moment. 

 

She left the suitcase inside as an excuse for him to come in, if he so chose. Rey climbed in the bed and flipped on some infomercial for noise and hunkered down in those sweet smelling sheets. 

 

She waited for a little while before she heard his heavy steps making their way to the room. Laughter from downstairs began to die down, but it was still noticeable when he opened the door slowly. 

 

Rey laid staring at his nightstand in the dark, hoping that he wouldn't notice that she was still awake. 

 

He pulled his suitcase out, lingering for a few seconds. His tired eyes scanned the bedroom and the girl laying in his bed. He thought about asking to stay, but shut the door quietly and took himself down the hall. 

 

Their first encounters weren't exactly what they had imagined. And Leia seemed to pull on the thread a little harder. She poked her head our of the kitchen, holding Chewie in her arms. 

 

She watched her son's lanky figure and grinned to herself. "I see it's possible for you to be a gentleman. You're not all bad, are you Ben."

 

"You could have cleaned out the spare bedroom for her." He said sharply, scowling at his own irritation. "Or you could have more than one, considering how large this house is. We had more at father's house."

 

Leia bit her tongue. She knew when to quit and how Ben's temper would grow. She watched him slam the door behind him and she relaxed. 

 

He was hanging on to a piece of their lives that she had struggled so hard to move on from, and there was suffering in that. They had tried to give him everything, but neglected him in the process. It was hard enough to settle on the fact and seeing his face still carried the weight of his father's death and the life they had, was a burden she had to live with. 

 

A sigh escaped her as she held back her own tears. Looking towards Ben's room, she knew Rey had suffered much the same and loved the optimism that she held, whether she realized she was capable of it or not.

 

The girl always looked for more and looked for the sky to open for her. Ben did, too, but he hoped that his own suffering would end by his own devices.

 

Leia withdrew her upset and waltzed back into the remains of her party. She loved her son dearly, but she hoped for Rey's sake she could be more of what she should have been and guide her in the right direction. 

 

As she sat down at the table with her brother and companions, the woman acted resilient as always. She didn't let the weight conjure anymore ill will. 

 

She was what she always was. And it was the light in the room. 

 

**In the week that followed,** Rey had found her mind drifting back to that night. She pressed metals and oiled them for the manufacturer as though it was second nature. 

 

This day, she wasn't focused on the drivel and listened less enthusiastically to the humming tune of saws and bolts being harnessed in place. 

 

She hadn't taken the time to visit the old woman's house since and Ben stuck out in her mind like a sore thumb.  She thought she ought to have liked him more than she did, but maybe she was predisposed to her apprehensions. 

 

It didn't matter now, she sighed continuing to move chunks of metal to the table. It was almost time to leave. It was a relief in itself. Eagerly, she grunted as she shoddily finished sanding her project down until it sort of shined. 

 

All of the men in her station had finished their projects and hunkered down with sweaty brows and bottles of water while she worked. She was struggling more than she ever had, and it showed. Every second she spent there made her wonder if she would ever find something  _better._

Wiping her face, she smeared the grime across her skin and pulled off her goggles. The bell was chiming and she eagerly rushed to the time clock. 

 

Before she could manage to make it, her supervisor rounded the corner as he did everyday. This time he brought along a clipboard as red as his hair. He looked stern, as he usually did and Rey stared at his pursed lips as he read over the papers.

 

The men looked as afraid as she did. 

 

Rey held her breath as he passed by her only to take a step back. Her hands held her timecard nervously. 

 

"Oh, Miss ----" The man paused, licking his thumb as he slid it across the paper. "Antilles, is it?" 

 

Rey snapped her eyes to his lifeless, tired ones and she felt his scrunity burn her. "Yes sir?"

 

"You weren't related to old man Wedge that worked here some time ago?" He asked as she stared at his glossy nametag pinned to his starched button-down.  _Hux_ was inscribed neatly as the man was put together. 

 

"No, I'm afraid not. I'm not originally from here.' Rey asked, arching a brow curiously as she sucked in a breath. 

 

"Tsk." He clicked, pulling an envelope from the clipboard. "I'll make this short, but we are doing layoffs and I'm afraid your service is no longer needed." 

 

His voice was hollow, unfeeling as Rey took the paper and gritted her teeth. Her jaw felt like it would snap from the pressure. "I've been working here three fucking years, I received tenure this year!"

 

"It isn't my rule, darling. Take your consolidation check and be on your way. You will be on a call list." Hux said, rolling his eyes at her ire.

 

"You're a bastard. You have every say so in this. This is your department." Rey hissed, staring in disdain. 

 

He continued handing out cuts like they were gifts. Others felt the same, but she was the only one to open her mouth.

 

"I'll blacklist you from this company and its affiliates if you do not leave the premises at once." Hux sighed, finding the girl's voice to be obnoxious. 

 

She did as she was told, screaming curses on her way out. She threw her hardhat against the floor and kicked the fire extinguisher panel hard enough for it to fall to the floor.

 

Rey couldn't bring herself to cry as she punched the steering wheel in her car. Her body was more tense than it had ever been. She wanted to run and exhaust herself. It was a cloudy night and there were no stars beyond the drizzle to guide her. 

 

She panted as she flipped on her car and sped down the road. Her mind fled a million places that all ended up right back to her termination. She could barely afford to live as it was. There was some sense of disgust that rippled through her as she ended up in Leia's driveway. 

 

She slammed the car door and pulled her dirty hair out it's sloppy bun. Her hands were still black from the grease as she burst through the door.

 

A wave of calm besieged her as she took a moment to breath --- to process what had just happened. 

 

She didn't find Leia. Instead she found Ben eating a bowl of cereal against the counter. 

 

He scowled at her. "So, you just bust in here like you own the place?" 

 

"Don't." Rey said, scanning him up and down as he did the same. He paid attention to how strongly she smelled like laborious work and her cheap perfume.

 

"Mother won't be back until tomorrow. Guess you have to go home." He said sharply, not sure if he really meant it.

 

"I can't right now. I can't be alone." Rey admitted, pulling her hair back with her dirty hands. "I was just fired from my job and I don't know what to do."

 

The tears she had suppressed wanted to come tumbling out, but couldn't. She didn't know him. She didn't want to pour herself out for him to see.

 

Ben scoffed, "Oh, I see. You've been cultivating this relationship with my mother to benefit you." He said. It was audacious. 

 

Rey slammed a fist onto the counter top as she stepped closer to him. "Have you had to work for a thing in your life? Do you know what this is like?"

 

His dark eyes met hers angrily. His lip quirked involuntarily, "As a matter of fact, yes. You're acting like---"

 

"Like what? " She challenged. Her chest rose and fell with her deep, pained breaths. 

 

Ben shook his head. He held in his irritation the best he could. Closing his eyes he erased the image of her face and he sighed. "Nothing. It's not worth it. It seems like you're important to her, so go on clean yourself up. You smell like a dumpster."

 

Rey screamed in frustration. She shouldn't act like that, she scolded herself. But her balled fists and bruised pride blinded her. "God, you are so frustrating." 

 

Ben crossed his arms over his chest and grinned at her upset. Sometimes he knew he was a bastard and resigned to it. When he saw her tears leaking down her cheeks, leaving trails of clean skin, he felt a little sick.

 

"You know where everything is. Go get cleaned up. Shirts are in my closet and I made dinner. It's in the fridge." The man crumbled. 

 

Rey began to sob and held her head in her hands. Every inch of her body ached and her mind seemed to collapse. She was blind to everything around her. Her life was changing and she wasn't ready for what would happen next. 

 

But at least for now she was safe, even if she was with Ben. He was more kind when she was sloshed on wine and he had family to ignore. 

 

She wanted to say something, but sucked back a sharp breath before trudging away. Maybe it would be better if she went home and focused on the time she had left. But it wouldn't have done any good.

 

She would end up crying herself to sleep regardless but at least here she had company --- no matter how hot and cold it was. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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